The Whole Ten Yards 2004

Scott Von Doviak, Fort Worth Star-Telegram/DFW.com: A paltry collection of lame one-liners, stock characters and tired sight gags. Read more

John Monaghan, Detroit Free Press: If The Whole Nine Yards was a by-product of the hit man genre of dark comedies launched by Quentin Tarantino and Pulp Fiction, Ten Yards is just a copy of a copy. Read more

Erik Lundegaard, Seattle Times: The Whole Nine Yards was only about a yard short of being a worthwhile comedy back in 2000, but its sequel, The Whole Ten Yards, doesn't even manage to get onto the playing field. Read more

Michael Wilmington, Chicago Tribune: Marginally better directed and better written than the original Nine Yards, it's still a big, empty picture full of star turns, artificial energy and jokes that don't quite work, even if stars Willis and Perry do their best to slam them across. Read more

Hank Sartin, Chicago Reader: Every joke is stretched to the breaking point, and no one seems to be having any fun. Read more

Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper: ... an utter disaster. Read more

Bob Townsend, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: The story is a formulaic jumble, and the minor characters often appear to have wandered in from another Hollywood set. Read more

Nathan Rabin, AV Club: Why do filmmakers persist in making sequels to movies nobody seems to have liked in the first place, let alone loved with the kind of passion that leaves them hungry for more? Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: The Whole Ten Yards is not as desperate, unfunny, and nonsensical as its title. It's worse. Read more

Kevin Crust, Los Angeles Times: A disastrously unfunny sequel. Read more

Denver Post: A mostly funny film with occasional dead spots that does best letting the caricatures say exactly what you'd thought they'd say in next week's episode. Read more

Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly: The zany hitman action-comedy sequel that nobody asked for -- and yes, in case you're wondering, it's every bit as nonsensical and overitalicized a mess as The Whole Nine Yards. Read more

Stephen Cole, Globe and Mail: Nowhere amidst all the frantic clutter do we find anything resembling the sweet, nutty playing that elevated The Whole Nine Yards. Read more

Philip Wuntch, Dallas Morning News: An exercise in humiliation for all concerned. Read more

Scott Foundas, L.A. Weekly: [A] miserably unfunny, wholly unnecessary affair. Read more

Gene Seymour, Newsday: The big surprise -- the only gratifying surprise -- of The Whole Ten Yards is that we're glad to see almost everyone back. Read more

Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger: For all its loud gunplay and manic shouting, the movie never works up much of a head of steam. Read more

Jami Bernard, New York Daily News: A time waster. Read more

Elvis Mitchell, New York Times: The sequel to The Whole Nine Yards is more afterthought than accomplishment, a cocktail made with orange juice and Champale instead of actual bubbly. Read more

Jay Boyar, Orlando Sentinel: If [The Whole Nine Yards] should not have worked, then the sequel definitely shouldn't work, either. But, once again, it kind of does. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: Inconsistencies in tone are minor when compared to the confusion created by the editor's butchery. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: This is one of those movies you look at quizzically: What did they think they were doing? Read more

Carla Meyer, San Francisco Chronicle: Slap-happy and slapdash, Ten Yards lacks the clever twists and turns that made the original such fun. Read more

Jeff Strickler, Minneapolis Star Tribune: Perry is good at physical comedy. But there are only so many times Oz can take pratfalls before we start to feel embarrassed for Perry for having to milk laughs from such feeble fodder. Read more

Peter Howell, Toronto Star: So mirthless is this misbegotten enterprise, the sound of fake chucklers busting a gut would at least have given us valuable clues as to when we're supposed to laugh. Read more

Mike Clark, USA Today: Here's another major-studio comedy that makes you want to apply for frequent-misery mileage. Read more

Robert Koehler, Variety: The strain needed to extend The Whole Ten Yards a yard -- and to feature length -- is so evident it breaks new pic's comedy spirit, making it a dubious member of the Sequel Hall of Shame. Read more

Ben Kenigsberg, Village Voice: A heavily made up Kevin Pollak -- (over)playing a Hungarian gangster -- best sums up the mood: 'Thees ees reminding me of my favoreet soup opera.' Read more