The Longest Yard 2005

Terry Lawson, Detroit Free Press: The new version is not nearly as convincing or as credible as the old. Read more

Connie Ogle, Miami Herald: The Longest Yard is packed with many such tiny gifts for insiders, and picking them out is a big part of the movie's charm. Read more

Kyle Smith, New York Post: The characters sound like they were dreamed up during the drive to the set. Read more

Kevin M. Williams, Chicago Tribune: Where the original was a serious film with funny moments, this movie isn't sure if it's a drama or comedy, too incompetently rendered to be both. Read more

Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times: It's indifferent, charisma-free filmmaking. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: An odd mix of amusing nonsense and nastiness that chugs along, hit and miss, until the last section, which is the best part of the movie and its real reason for being: the game. Read more

David Edelstein, Slate: What was already a raucous put-on, a goof on Aldrich's brutal action movies, is now a hyperbolic, gross-out cartoon, with a cast of enormous ex-football stars only adding to the air of facetiousness. Read more

Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper: A Division III imitation of the original. Read more

Eleanor Ringel Gillespie, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: A genial crowd-pleaser. Read more

Nathan Rabin, AV Club: Laughs doggedly fail to ensue, and Burt Reynolds' wasted presence as an old-timer eager for one more shot at glory only underlines the remake's weaknesses as comedy and drama. Read more

Bill Muller, Arizona Republic: Instead of The Longest Yard, they should have called it the Shortest Route to the Bank. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: It's surprising how much of the movie is flat and how predictable the gags are. Read more

Carina Chocano, Los Angeles Times: If you're thinking of seeing it, and you're old enough to drive (or even read this), do yourself a favor and rent the original instead. Read more

Amy Biancolli, Houston Chronicle: A serviceable bone-cruncher of a sports comedy, just tough enough and funny enough to reach the end zone. Read more

Michael Booth, Denver Post: See it if you think Adam Sandler is Joe Montana. See it if you like men in team-issued tight pants. See it if you like men in prison-issue tight pants. Read more

Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly: I can't help thinking that in this game of remake, points have been shaved. Read more

Chris Vognar, Dallas Morning News: Painfully unnecessary. Read more

Kim Morgan, L.A. Weekly: A predictable, choppy affair at best. Read more

Gene Seymour, Newsday: The new Yard is just as slick and rousing as the old Yard. Read more

Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger: Although Sandler has occasionally broken the pattern, most recently with Spanglish, here he returns to the old, profitable, well-worn rut. Read more

Jami Bernard, New York Daily News: A misguided, miscast remake of the 1974 Robert Aldrich classic. Read more

Manohla Dargis, New York Times: Softer, louder and cleaner than the 1974 version, the new film sentimentalizes the prisoners and the game, filing down their sharpest edges so that winning becomes a matter of triumph rather than resistance. Read more

Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel: It's not as good as the 1974 original, or even as good as the 2001 British soccer remake of Yard, Mean Machine. But there are bright spots. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: The Longest Yard more or less achieves what most of the people attending it will expect. Read more

Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com: People will go see The Longest Yard for all sorts of reasons -- its lively humor, the current of violence that's just under the surface, its message of underdog racial reconciliation, or the fact that there's no actual football to watch on TV. Read more

Jeff Strickler, Minneapolis Star Tribune: Viewers who come to see a football movie likely will leave satisfied. But those who want to see an Adam Sandler movie would do better to rent The Waterboy. Read more

St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Read more

Globe and Mail: Unoriginal but confident, it's the kind of effort that's just good enough to keep [Sandler's] track record going. Read more

Peter Howell, Toronto Star: The Longest Yard works well enough. Read more

Time Out: Everyone involved with this remake claims the utmost respect for Robert Aldrich's raucously funny 1974 original. So you have to wonder why they crapped all over it, starting with the casting. Read more

Time Out: Read more

Mike Clark, USA Today: Though there's no drearier trend in current movies than recycling, this modified Yard is more smoothly crafted than the 1974 slapstick version. Read more

Joe Leydon, Variety: Sandler smartly balances the script's mix of cynicism and sentiment in his ingratiating lead performance. (And he's physically persuasive as an ex-quarterback.) Read more

Ed Halter, Village Voice: No uplifting populism here. Read more

Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post: The pleasure is entirely like eating cake made from cake mix. It's not like you don't know how it's going to turn out, or how it tasted the last time you ate it. Read more

Ann Hornaday, Washington Post: Whether it's the sight of Reynolds squeezed painfully into a football uniform or the endless footballs-to-the-crotch and tired gay jokes, The Longest Yard has the feeling of mutton dressed as lamb. Read more