The Expendables 3 2014

Lou Lumenick, New York Post: Most of us have probably seen episodes of "Antiques Roadshow'' more exciting than this PG-13-rated, interminably boring "action'' fiasco. Read more

Soren Anderson, Seattle Times: If you've seen the first two "Expendables," you know exactly what you'll be getting with the third: a testosterone burger, heavy on the ketchup with a hefty helping of hot lead on the side. Read more

Justin Chang, Variety: You need "The Expendables 3" like you need a kick in the crotch, and while this running-on-fumes sequel may not be quite as painful a thing to experience, it will waste considerably more of your time. Read more

Ignatiy Vishnevetsky, AV Club: With its third entry, the Sylvester Stallone-led Expendables franchise finally becomes the live-action Saturday morning cartoon it was always destined to be. Read more

Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic: Sylvester Stallone gets the band back together in "The Expendables 3" and even tries to play a new tune. To little avail, alas. Read more

Tom Russo, Boston Globe: "The Expendables 3" gets the franchise back on track. Read more

Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune: The latest in the continuing saga of Sylvester Stallone's mission to provide a work week or two to as many of his old pals as possible. Read more

Adam Graham, Detroit News: "The Expendables" series deserves a movie as muscular as its stars. For now, "The Expendables 3" isn't it. Read more

Cary Darling, Fort Worth Star-Telegram/DFW.com: Sadly, the most expendable thing about The Expendables 3 is the movie itself. Read more

Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly: Sometimes there really is no substitute for age and experience. Read more

Jordan Hoffman, Film.com: Banderas does some of his most charming work since his turn as the Nasonex Bee Read more

Justin Lowe, Hollywood Reporter: The law of diminishing returns is inexorably setting in with the third iteration. Read more

Derrik J. Lang, Associated Press: The film's sporadic set pieces simply aren't captivating enough to forgive all the movie's other faults. Read more

Kenneth Turan, Los Angeles Times: A kind of ho-hum experience, wherein a lot of bullets are expended and a lot of structures exploded to minimal dramatic effect. Read more

Amy Nicholson, L.A. Weekly: At this point, the Expendables have formed and reformed so many times they're like the world's most macho wife swap, the action version of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. Read more

Rafer Guzman, Newsday: A slightly breezier and dependably brainless installment of Stallone's action franchise. Read more

Chris Klimek, NPR: The third installment in Sylvester Stallone's jobs program for expired action heroes is easily the best of the bunch, which is not to say it's any good. Read more

Joe Neumaier, New York Daily News: "The Expendables 3" lets down its cast with a film that's about as thrilling as the arrival of a monthly Social Security check. Read more

Nicolas Rapold, New York Times: It's all a bit like a classic-rock tribute concert, or playing with all your action figures at once, or maybe "Cannonball Run," with the strained buddy-buddy back-and-forth. Read more

Michael Sragow, Orange County Register: The series did reignite a few careers and bring forth one decent popcorn movie (The Expendables 2). Rather than artificially extend its life, maybe the time has come to say Rest in Peace. Read more

David Hiltbrand, Philadelphia Inquirer: This Sylvester Stallone franchise has devolved into the clown car of action movies: a casting gimmick to see how many AARP actors you can cram into one vehicle. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: For a variety of reasons, most having to do with a weak screenplay and poor pacing, The Expendables 3 is the least successful entry in the series. Read more

Richard Roeper, Richard Roeper.com: A wasted opportunity. Read more

Peter Travers, Rolling Stone: The Expendables 3, trading on our affection for action stars of the past, has officially worn out its already shaky welcome. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: Why should we care whether Sly or Mel wins? There's no good guy. There's no bad guy. There's just Mel and Sly, and they just disagree. Read more

Kristin Tillotson, Minneapolis Star Tribune: So much star power packed together in one place hasn't produced such a cheesy result since the recording of "We Are the World." Read more

Sophie Gilbert, The Atlantic: The movie borrows so liberally from other action films that it starts to feel at times a bit like a BuzzFeed listicle. Read more

Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail: Proof that sometimes even your low expectations can be far too high. Read more

Peter Howell, Toronto Star: This is what an earthbound Guardians of the Galaxy would be like if every character was Groot, the tree guy. Read more

Alonso Duralde, TheWrap: Once you take the grizzled seniors out of the picture and replace them with the United Commandos of Benetton, The Expendables 3 loses the one thing that makes it special. Read more

Tom Huddleston, Time Out: Are there legions of middle-aged weightlifting nuts out there who yearn for the good old days of Chuck Norris mowing down foreign Johnnies with an uzi 9mm? Read more

Claudia Puig, USA Today: The Expendables 3 is as boneheaded and disposable as it sounds. Read more

Bilge Ebiri, New York Magazine/Vulture: Those first two movies look like Seven Samurai next to The Expendables 3, a sad, bad, parade of uninspired cameos and listless violence. Read more