Rollerball 2002

Glenn Lovell, San Jose Mercury News: Not so much a redo of the 1975 sci-fi allegory of the same title as a denial of everything that made that film timely and interesting. Read more

Terry Lawson, Detroit Free Press: Composed almost entirely of smash cuts and camera gimmickry, it makes most rock videos look like Ingmar Bergman dramas. Read more

Connie Ogle, Miami Herald: Dreadful acting, confusing action cinematography, choppy editing and embarrassing dialogue, with the added bonus of a plot almost as dumb as that of the original film. Read more

Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper: ...really horrible drek. Read more

Susan Stark, Detroit News: Read more

Tom Maurstad, Dallas Morning News: A lot like the imaginary sport it projects onto the screen -- loud, violent and mindless. Read more

Elvis Mitchell, New York Times: McTiernan's remake may be lighter on its feet -- the sober-minded original was as graceful as a tap-dancing rhino -- but it is just as boring and as obvious. Read more

Gene Seymour, Newsday: With this new Rollerball, sense and sensibility have been overrun by what can only be characterized as robotic sentiment. Read more

David Germain, Associated Press: Loud, crude and outlandish, Rollerball is a parody of itself, a frenzy of extreme-sports stunts masquerading as social commentary on violence and the corporate forces that feed off it. Read more

Mark Rahner, Seattle Times: They should have called it Gutterball. Read more

Atlanta Journal-Constitution: I went with it. So, I'm guessing, will a lot of that cherished demographic, 14- to 34-year-old boys. Read more

Keith Phipps, AV Club: Only those attracted to Waterworld- or Last Action Hero-level big-budget disasters need bother with this one. Read more

Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times: Derailed by bad writing and possibly also by some of that extensive post-production reworking to aim the film at young males in the throes of their first full flush of testosterone. Read more

Eric Harrison, Houston Chronicle: Successfully creates for the viewer the feeling of being trapped inside a video arcade going at full tilt, a thrilling prospect for 14-year-old boys, no doubt, though it's hard to imagine anyone else enjoying it. Read more

Entertainment Weekly: The new version just makes you feel like you've been watching a lame late-night rerun while stuck in a thunderdome. Read more

Rick Groen, Globe and Mail: Despite the technical advances of the past quarter century, the game sequences are as goofy as the first go-round. Read more

Paul Malcolm, L.A. Weekly: Pushes the Hollywood action movie to stratospheric new levels of incoherence. Read more

Michael Wilmington, Chicago Tribune: It's dull, spiritless, silly and monotonous: an ultra-loud blast of pointless mayhem, going nowhere fast. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: Like a gerbil exercising in a wheel, this movie spins and spins, generating a lot of action and noise, but getting absolutely nowhere. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: An incoherent mess, a jumble of footage in search of plot, meaning, rhythm and sense. Read more

Jeff Stark, Salon.com: John McTiernan's botched remake may be subtler than Norman Jewison's 1975 ultraviolent futuristic corporate-sports saga. It's also stupider. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: A remarkable film: Remarkably empty, remarkably noisy, remarkably pleasureless. Read more

Trevor Johnston, Time Out: Rollerball looks like a checklist shaped by a 15-year-old mallrat: thrashing metal track, skateboards, motorbikes, cracked heads and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos with her top off. Read more

Mike Clark, USA Today: Missing a few key elements: a script, a reason for being and maybe a few Britney Spears ads strategically placed throughout to break up 98 minutes of solid tedium. Read more

Robert Koehler, Variety: Although Norman Jewison's stolidly grim and ultimately ludicrous 1975 original was hardly a landmark of nightmarish sci-fi, it towers over this. Read more

Mark Holcomb, Village Voice: It's almost enough to make Burton's Apes retread seem like a work of artistic ingenuity. Read more