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Reviews provided by RottenTomatoes
Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper: ... a lot of fun. Read more
Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times: A fairly enjoyable mixture of Longest Yard ... and the 1999 Guy Ritchie caper Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Read more
Gary Dowell, Dallas Morning News: Jones helps breathe some life into the insubstantial plot, but even he is overwhelmed by predictability. Read more
Robert K. Elder, Chicago Tribune: Holds its ground as a mid-budget Hollywood knockoff. Read more
A.O. Scott, New York Times: Mean Machine never finds a groove. Read more
Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times: Mean Machine's tale of a disgraced soccer star who takes charge of a prison team benefits from solid pacing and acting. Read more
Eric Harrison, Houston Chronicle: It's mildly entertaining, especially if you find comfort in familiarity. But it's hardly a necessary enterprise. Read more
Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly: The only thing that could possibly make them less interesting than they already are is for them to get full montied into a scrappy, jovial team. Read more
Rick Groen, Globe and Mail: No movement, no yuks, not much of anything. Read more
Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: The formula is familiar but enjoyable. Read more
Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com: Circumscribed on one side by its American precursor and on the other by the Ritchie style that Skolnick slavishly imitates. Read more
Edward Guthmann, San Francisco Chronicle: The humor is hinged on the belief that knees in the crotch, elbows in the face and spit in the eye are inherently funny. Read more
Geoff Pevere, Toronto Star: You realize that not only is Vinnie Jones no Burt Reynolds ... but, as a source of structured cinematic mayhem anyway, soccer is no football. Read more
Justine Elias, Village Voice: A minor-league soccer remake of The Longest Yard. Read more