Love Ranch 2010

A.O. Scott, At the Movies: It starts flat and gets so tired. Read more

Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune: What could have been a juicy, pulpy noir, based loosely on the real-life 1976 Mustang Ranch love triangle involving Joe and Sally Conforte and Sally's boxer paramour, instead has the dramatic consistency of rice milk. Read more

Nathan Rabin, AV Club: With two great, ideally cast actors and such potentially fascinating subject matter, why does Love Ranch feel like a clumsy TV movie? Read more

Kerry Lengel, Arizona Republic: Once Hackford has committed to the characters and to their compelling (if dark) world, he has nowhere to go but to some predecided facts that might not be the most interesting end to the characters' journey. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: Have you been waiting for Helen Mirren to run the best little whorehouse in Reno? Read more

J. R. Jones, Chicago Reader: Joe Pesci ended a 12-year retirement from the screen (excepting his brief turn in Robert De Niro's The Good Shepherd) to star in this miserable drama. Read more

Peter Rainer, Christian Science Monitor: The only vaguely interesting aspect to this film is the subplot involving a past-his-prime Argentinian heavyweight owned by Charlie. Read more

Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly: Hackford fails to squeeze the tiniest bit of juice, sexy or comic or otherwise, out of the chintzy-libertine locale. Read more

Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger: There's no flash, no sizzle, no surprise. Just beefcake and cheesecake, served on a plastic plate. Read more

Lou Lumenick, New York Post: Well-acted but clumsy... Read more

Rex Reed, New York Observer: Even Helen Mirren on a bad day is better than nine out of ten American film queens polluting movie screens on any given Sunday, but really, this is one time she should have stayed in bed. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: That the cast includes Helen Mirren, Joe Pesci and Gina Gershon ought to provide redemption, but the script fails to persuade me this story needed to be told. Read more

Peter Travers, Rolling Stone: If you've been panting to see Joe Pesci and Dame Helen Mirren get it on, hustle over to Love Ranch. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: Love Ranch is less than two hours long, but it feels longer. Much longer -- as in long enough for the Rostovs to marry off Natasha and for Napoleon to retreat from Moscow. Read more

Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail: In theory, it had all the signs of a ripe Mirren performance, but she's undone by a weak script that leaves her flailing like an Olympic swimmer in a pool full of jelly. Read more

Peter Howell, Toronto Star: Helen Mirren's estimable talents are wasted in this soapy puddle, which is directed by her husband Taylor Hackford. Read more

Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out: For once, Mirren seems like she's coasting in her fur coats and borrowed Dietrich attitude. Read more

Peter Debruge, Variety: Hackford gives Mirren the only real character in an ensemble filled with types. Read more

Melissa Anderson, Village Voice: Any performer, even a deity (and Dame) like Mirren, would struggle mightily to enliven a script this deadly. Read more

Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post: Try though she might, Mirren can't save the hackneyed and singularly unerotic story... Read more