Hell Ride 2008

Amy Nicholson, Boxoffice Magazine: The main problem is Bishop's adamancy on playing the lead tough guy when he's got the face of a shoe salesman. Read more

Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune: For a grindhouse throwback that works, try Tarantino's Death Proof (the shorter version). That one delivered; Hell Ride gets a flat 10 minutes in and goes floop-floop-floop the rest of the way. Read more

Andrea Gronvall, Chicago Reader: As cheesy as the American-International biker flicks of the 60s were, they had a raw vitality missing from this self-conscious tribute. Read more

Keith Phipps, AV Club: A witless reprise of '60s and '70s biker movies written, directed by, and starring Larry Bishop. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: The whole thing feels like the sort of picture Tarantino would make if he weren't such an ingenious B-movie artist: a genre exercise that's more studious than entertaining. Read more

Mark Olsen, Los Angeles Times: The film gets the scummy patina right, all phony-Leone dusty trails, but while everybody on screen looks to be enjoying themselves, it is no fun to watch. Read more

Tom Long, Detroit News: The result is, predictably and enjoyably, old-fashioned macho mayhem with a post-modern twist. This movie knows it's ridiculous. Heck, it's proud to be ridiculous. Read more

Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly: It's a claustrophobic dud, full of ludicrously purple tough-guy dialogue and lip-smacking vamps in bikinis (how hot!), with so much monotonous hip violence there's scarcely room for anything else. Read more

Cole Haddon, Film.com: Read more

Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News: Where the biker films of the late '60s and early '70s offered edgy, amusingly cheesy thrills, this sputtering effort is as rusty as an unrestored Triumph Bonneville. Read more

Linda Stasi, New York Post: The dialog is clever, nutty and syncopated, with a soundtrack -- of the "C.C. Rider" vein -- which ain't half-bad, either. Read more

Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel: Does it count against you when you actually set out to make an awful movie? It should. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: Nostalgia is a poor foundation for any movie, and the film's visceral pleasures are too limited to effectively compensate for the lack of credible characters or a coherent storyline. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: The movie was executive produced by Quentin Tarantino. Shame on him. He intends it no doubt as another homage to grindhouse pictures, but I've seen a lot of them, and they were nowhere near this bad. Hell's Angels on Wheels, for example: pretty good. Read more

Ruthe Stein, San Francisco Chronicle: The script, written by Bishop, barely makes sense. It lacks anything resembling wit, unless you think it amusing that these aging cyclists brag about needing their three B's -- bikes, beer and booty. Read more

Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune: As the film's triple-threat writer/director/star, Bishop isn't noticeably talented. Read more

Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out: Read more

Dennis Harvey, Variety: Thesps (even toplining helmer, who's a strapping 60 years old) have nothing to work with, though one hopes they had fun riding about the desert. Read more

Aaron Hillis, Village Voice: Street cred can't save this pic, not even with Dennis Hopper and David Carradine cameos, and QT himself exec-producing and initiating the project. Read more